|
Last Updated: Jun 29th, 2008 - 19:59:12 |
Our Adoption Story
By Julie Laatsch
May 11, 2006, 14:33
|
Our Family’s Story on the Planning Stages of Adopting from Korea. My husband and I first started discussing adoption from Asia even before we were married. We knew we were not going to be able to have children of our own so it was only natural to think of adoption. So our research began. We set our sights on Korea quickly once we learned about their culture and their strong belief in the importance of family. We also liked the fact we could pick our child up and also meet the foster Mother.
And so, our journey began…
When I first announced to my family my husband and I were going to adopt they were all thrilled. Once I told them we were adopting internationally their faces changed, primarily my fathers. He said “make sure you choose a country with the same completion as ours”. My father was in his mid 70’s at the time, but International Adoption was still very “new” to him and others we knew. When we selected Korea, they of course did not disapprove, but waited anxiously to learn and to understand.
As the process of adopting our first child from Korea began, more questions started to arise, not just from my family but from friends, co-workers and of course the adoption agency itself who required a home study prior to acceptance. Questions like, “Can you love a child that is not your own”, “Will it bother you that your child will not look like you” were among just a few. My husband and I took those questions in stride because in our hearts we knew we would never feel this way about our child. We wanted a child to love and grow with, our child was out there and we knew it. The color of its skin, the culture it was born in, never mattered nor did what anyone else said.
You might ask “really” or “how”, and the best way I can explain it is if you have been pregnant you most likely felt the child was yours since you found out it was conceived. Well, our child was ours since the day we decided to adopt and started the planning process. He was a part of us, our every thought and prayer during the entire 9 ½ months. We prepared his room, bought clothes, diapers and all the other essentials. We told everyone we knew about the stages we were in; we checked and double checked the paperwork, went to classes and dreamed of holding our child in our arms, just like any other waiting parent.
The adoption process was long, but not unbearable by any means. We went through the same thing any waiting parents do who are waiting for the birth of their child, but with different kinds of labor pains. Our adoption agency, Wide Horizons for Children, was wonderful, very informative and understanding. If you are an organized person even the paperwork is rather easy. It’s the wait that is the hardest. Unlike pregnancy, you don’t have a due date, even if it is not an exact date is it most likely something you can count on and mark on the calendar. With adoption, the date on your calendar can span over a 6 – 8 month period or longer! And this is AFTER you fill out the paperwork. We were lucky, we only waited 9 ½, I was very persistent. After all, our son was waiting for us.
The adoption process began with our first informational meeting, we learned more about the Korean program, met a family that adopted a boy and then a girl from Korea and we met other couples who were considering adopting from Korea. We even went around the room and told our story on why we were adopting. This was sad for many couples as some had tried to conceive for several years.
The first stage was to be assigned a social worker. We were assigned a wonderful, very helpful social worker, Jane Eacobacci and we had four meetings to schedule with her. The first meeting was to be at our home, the agency wanted to make sure our home was baby proof and a good environment in which to raise a child. The next meeting was with each spouse separately, I was most nervous about this one. The third meeting was with a group of other couples adopting from Korea and lasted for most of the day. Finally the fourth was my husband and I together with our social worker in her office.
We also had to write our own biography of our life from the beginning to the present. This had to include our feelings on our childhood, relationships, jobs and our marriage. It was actually a difficult thing to write. Additionally, agency required three letters of reference from friends or co-workers, non-family members. During all of this we were working on paperwork and gathering tax information and financial documents. Please note, each adoption agencies requirements are a little different depending upon the country you are adopting from and the State you reside in.
Once the paperwork is done you can only set back and wait. Since we chose to adopt from Korea we knew the next step was a child would be assigned to us. In our program once your paperwork is complete, you go on a waiting list and when your name comes up the next available child is assigned to you.
It was a beautiful day in July when our call came. I was outside speaking with a neighbor, and I heard the phone ring, I just knew it was our social worker, Jane Eacobacci, and I ran to answer it. It was… Jane said, “congratulations – I have a child for you and it’s a boy” “when do you want to meet with me”? I said, “NOW”! Well, we had to wait two full days to meet up with her, but the day finally came.
Our social worker had two photos and a little information about our son’s birth parents and medical background. The first photo was taken when he was just a few days old, in a white gown, lying in a crib and the second photo was just his face. He was the most adorable child I had ever seen, with a great smile and big black eyes. His birth mother was only 14 years old and there was little information about the father. With our program we could have accepted or declined our child, this always amazes me. My husband and I didn’t even need to ask one another as we both said to our social worker, “when can we pick him up”?
If we thought the wait for our son was difficult before, now that we had a photo of him, it was close to unbearable. Everyday we waited for the call that told us we were ready to go. I called Betsey Barrett, Supervisor of the Korean Program at Wide Horizons for Children regularly to check on the progress of our adoption. I even sent flowers because I felt so guilty for bothering her so often. Our son was thousands of miles away and I wanted him in my arms. Finally the call came and we were ready to go! Luckily Northwest Airlines allows adoptive parents to book several flight times in advance with no charge, so I had a flight ready for us the very next weekend.
The flight to Korea was long and I began to get a little nervous. Will he be afraid of me, can we comfort him, will he adjust to his new home, and will I be a good mother? All of those fears and doubts dissolved the minute we held him in our arms at Holt Agency, Seoul, South Korea. Our son was home. Smile so bright, laugh so loud, eyes of love, dreams so bold. Jacob Kook Jin*, we love you.
*Kook or Gook means Nation and Jin means Truth in Korean (for boys)
**************************************************
"Although the Korea program is a fantastic program, we are currently encouraging families to look at programs other than Korea. The program is open but we have a long waiting list with more families wanting to adopt from Korea than there are babies available in Korea for international adoption while in other countries (like China and Ethiopia) there are many more children needing families than there are families waiting", says Betsey Barrett, Korea Program Supervisor at Wide Horizons for Children.
____________________________________________
|
|
About
the Author(s) : Julie Laatsch, mother of Jacob 5 and Jade 3, both adopted from Korea as babies. |
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
- - - -
|
